Six months ago a team of Lunar Workshop's hottest game designers locked themselves in a room. With no food and no sleep they resolved not to come out until they had created the finest artillery-based strategy game ever. They were nearly done when an intern spilled his coffee on it, so they strung him up by his drawers and started over.
The result was the newest version of Digitanks: the Artillery Update. Command a fleet of tanks against up to 7 opponents in the Artillery game mode. The new version introduces 14 weapons and 4 all-new terrain types in a fast-paced, no-holds-barred fight to the death. Careful scientific studies observed a forty-fold increase in activity in the "fun factor" area of the brain of video game playing lab rats.
But the core of Digitanks is its Strategy game mode. Build a base and produce specialized units to explore terrain, fight against hordes of enemies, expand your network, and strive to conquer the Digiverse. Where Artillery mode grants instant explosions, Strategy mode's depth and complexity create a fundamentally different game. In a completely unrelated development, the Lunar Workshop team has formally renounced all responsibility for side effects of exposure including but not limited to sleep loss, neglect of personal hygiene, and delusionally shelling enemies with the new artillery units.
- Better Everything - From the Rogue's ability to slip behind enemy lines while cloaked to the Resistor's new Fragmentation Ray, the Artillery Update represents an almost total overhaul of Digitanks. Every unit has new abilities, every graphic is revamped, and every game mechanic has a new twist to increase the fun.
- No Crud - Our expensive Crud Detectors have scoured every inch of the game, cutting through the crud so you go straight to the fun.
- More Awesome - Is there anything else that needs to be said here? Seriously, does anybody even read these bullet point lists? Look, the game's a ton of fun so you should go to www.digitanks.com and download the demo. If you don't then you're just making excuses and your mother wouldn't approve of that.
As demanded by a horde of pedantic obsessives, here is a complete list of all the new and updated features in this new version of Digitanks.
- Graphics Overhaul - Updated graphics and a completely new look.
- 14 New Weapons - For a total of 14 weapons, since the one and only weapon in the previous version is gone. Ram enemy tanks, rain ICBMs on their heads, or fly a camera-guided missile into their bore holes.
- Smarter AI - You will regret inciting the ire of the Master Intelligence Unit.
- Reinvented Artillery Mode - If you don't find it entertaining then you should see a priest; you may not have a soul.
- Four New Terrain Types - Holes to fall in, Lava to burn in, Trees to hide in, Interference to suck your enemy's shields after you trick them into trying to cross it.
- Hotseat Multiplayer - Digitanks will be the life of your party now that you and your friends can take turns subjecting each other to explosive charges.
- Special "Airstrike" Attack - This new powerup type is an hail of destruction anywhere on the level.
- Strategy Mode Expansions - Grid bugs, MCPs, Rogue cloaking, Resistor Fragmentation Rays, Download Grid rework, and tons of other tweaks.
- 5 New Levels - Specially designed for maximum funnage. New user-created levels can also be easily added to the game.
- Old Hardware Compatibility - We won't guarantee that it will run fast, but it will run on your 4 year old Netbook.
- Bunch Of Other Stuff - You'll never know what if you don't play the game.